Dealing with the Aftermath of Divorce
The aftermath of divorce proceedings can be quite emotional depending on the settlement, who has primary custody of the children, and what assets have been awarded. No matter how well prepared you were, it’s easy to lose yourself during this time, even if the divorce process worked in your favor and no financial mistakes were made.
Regardless of how you feel, there are still ways to achieve a sense of normalcy and to work through all the feelings in a healthy and positive way. Here are some ways to help you get back to a normal state of mind and overcome agonizing feelings and thoughts.
Getting Back to Normal
- Don’t avoid or fight your feelings – Feeling is a part of being human. It’s normal to have conflicting emotions with ups and downs from anger to doubt, sadness to relief. It’s important to acknowledge the feelings you have and fully experience them. Suppressing or ignoring them will prolong the grieving process, preventing you from fully moving on.
- Remind yourself that you have a future to work for – When you commit to a person, you often create and share hopes and dreams for the future. Getting a divorce doesn’t mean you have to give up your goals, dreams, and aspirations – you just need to modify them to fit the future you want for yourself. It’s ok to grieve the loss of shared commitments and goals, but feel encouraged by the fact that you’re free to pursue and create new goals and aspirations just for you. Create goals that give you purpose and motivate you to strive for improvement and self-fulfillment.
- Help your children regain a sense of normalcy – Divorce can be especially hard on children, severely affecting their grades in school, friendships and relationships. It’s important to address your children’s concerns by sitting down with them and allowing them to fully voice their frustrations and worries. Being heard is a big component of the healing process for children. Regardless of how you feel about your spouse, you should both work as a team in parenting and encourage your child or children to work through their feelings. You may be divorced, but presenting a united front with your former spouse can help regain that sense of normalcy for a child needs. If it is difficult to communicate face-to-face or even over the phone with your former spouse, there are lots of apps designed to help with divorce that can provide a more neutral way to keep each other updated on your child’s needs.
- Spend time with people who value and support you – Your relationship with your spouse or ex-spouse doesn’t define you. Reach out and surround yourself with people you can be honest with, especially those who accept and value you for who you are. Use the opportunity to rekindle old friendships that may have fallen by the wayside. Reconnecting can reveal new insights you may not have known otherwise and can provide you with a whole new outlook on life to help you move forward.
- Make healthy choices – It’s easy to fall into a rut after a divorce, but don’t use food, drugs or alcohol to numb the feelings of pain and loneliness. Not only is it unhealthy but it can set you on a self-destructive path going forward that will eventually affect friends and family, and, most importantly your child or children. Find healthy ways to cope with the numb feelings that divorce can cause.
Get Divorce Representation That’s Centered on Your Well-Being with Conniff & Keleher, LLC
At Conniff & Keleher, LLC, we treat our clients’ divorce cases with care and compassion – we know and understand the nuances of divorce and the emotional repercussions. Our divorce and family law attorneys are fully equipped with the legal expertise and knowledge necessary to help you achieve your desired outcome in your divorce. We know the effects divorce can have on our clients and their families and can recommend solutions to alleviate the stress of the process.
Our divorce attorneys are held to the highest standards and every case is a priority. We pride ourselves on our commitment to our clients, and whether your case is uncontested, collaborative or litigated, our firm will work zealously to meet your expectations. Contact us today to schedule a legal consultation with one of our attorneys.